According to psychologists, a fetish is a non-sexual behavior that makes people sexually aroused. The word “fetish” has been used interchangeably with a kink in a sexual context for a long time. It is an activity that excites a person outside the norm of the traditional sex.
Nearly everyone has a sexual fetish, although very few would openly admit to it. Whether preferring one part of the anatomy of your partner over another, falls under the fetish bucket. According to research, a sexual fetish can also be from either childhood experiences or learned. Let’s look at the top ten sexual fetishes for men and women.
1. Spanking
This is one of the most common fetishes. It is as a result of childhood experiences, according to the author and sexual expert, Nichi Hodgson. Although when one is young, they don’t perceive this as erotic.
When they grow older, the perception changes, and the discomfort felt as a child starts becoming a turn-on. Note that spanking involves striking the buttocks – there a lot of nerves in the buttocks – which makes the slap very desirable!
2. Foot Fetish
This is a common fetish, especially for men, which involves worshipping feet through massage, kissing, and smelling. Foot fetishists are often turned on by the sight of a foot which can either encompass shoes and stockings as well. Others just by looking at a barefoot, want to lick or suck the toes.
Others would even fantasize about tearing the stocking with their teeth before they get to the main prize; foot. Others are turned on by this because the foot leads to the genitals.
3. Gerontophilia
The word is derived from the Greek word “geron” meaning “old man or woman”. This is an obsessive sexual attraction that older men and women feel for younger men and women. It is common for both genders and doesn’t necessarily have to be a pedophile in nature.
For women, it can originate from childhood experiences. For example, if the woman in question grew up without a father, they tend to be attracted to older men to fill that void.
4. Role Playing
Playing make-believe doesn’t stop when you grow up. Role-playing is acting out a sexual fantasy with your partner. It ranges from school girl/teacher scenes, doctor/patient scenes, and even more taboo scenes like daddy/brat. Although there is a huge stigma on this, some people love it and cannot have sex without calling someone “daddy”.
5. Lingerie
This is a common one and most perverted as some obsessed men steal underwear from a clothing line just to satisfy their fetishes. Sexy underwear can be a sexual stimulation to some people. Some experience sexual excitement from wearing certain lingerie while others like observing the sexy wear on somebody else.
6. Breasts and Buttocks
Fetishists obsessed with this are highly selective about their partners. They tend to be physically attracted to people with these attributes, for example, big bouncy breasts or large behinds.
While they may want to connect emotionally with their partners, these physical attributes are what turns them on. It is no wonder we have so many women undergo boob or butt jobs to fulfill their men’s desire.
7. BDSM
As the initials suggest, this involves bondage, dominance, submission, sadomasochism, and other related activities. Why the fetish for BDSM? This has a lot to do with control. Domination and submission is a power exchange whereby the dominant controls the submissive. It involves pain and pleasure all in one breath.
One can refrain from their partner with a rope or a belt. Whatever used, ensure that it is not too tight as to cause harm. Use safe words to establish boundaries and ensure consent every step of the way.
Don’t feel embarrassed when your partner ties you up like a sacrificial lamb. Research has shown that those who practice this fetish are psychologically healthier, more vigilant, and less stressed.
8. Voyeurism
Studies have shown that human beings have a fascination for nudity and other’s sexuality. Whether watching on the television or live in person, some people derive pleasure from watching other people in action or allowing others to watch them. Threesome is a voyeur’s ultimate turn-on as it offers plenty of watching.
Voyeurism can also happen by just seeing a naked body. This one is most common in men, who enjoy pornographic materials. Although it involves spying on people, never become a peeping tom and do that without their knowledge. This can be illegal in some countries!
9. Hair Fetish
While some might not see anything appealing about the hair, the sight of it, whether on the head, chest, armpits or pubic hair can cause arousal. Some women are also attracted by a bit of stubble on the jaw.
Women with gorgeous manes are more attractive to men. Whether a brunette, redhead, or blonde, it depends on the partner. The head has a lot of nerve endings and some people tend to be sexually stimulated by long hair up in a ponytail which they can pull during sex.
Remember, consent between partners is extremely important with anything that can cause physical pain.
It’s not just long hair that excites the partner. Some, mostly women, are attracted to bald men.
10. Tattoo Fetish
This can go in two ways; a tattoo on another person can cause sexual stimulation while others are aroused by getting a tattoo. This is commonly seen in young people. A tattoo, especially on women, was once viewed as taboo hence off limits. It was associated with being “bad”. And everyone knows a bad girl or boy is more fun, right?
As noted, some fetishes overlap one another. For example, stockings fall under lingerie, which causes arousal for some people, a fetish that can overlap with a love of feet. Another example is when someone gets off by watching another person put on underwear, which can fall under the acts of voyeurism.
Repressing sexual fetishes can take a toll on a relationship. Communicate with your partner for consent to improve your sex life. Unless your sexual fetish is a pedophile in nature, there’s no reason to feel ashamed. It’s perfectly normal!
11. Voice Fetish
Many individuals, like to hear a soft and kind voice to get quickly excited, especially 65% of men are sensitive to a sweet & kind voice. Many individuals actually try calling chatlines to get excited before any sexual act.